Don't just said be strong..but help me to be strong.
Don't just asking me to fight...but help me to fight.
Don't just said my life is better...but share my better life with you.
Don't just see my bed of rose..but see how struggle I am to make rose on my bed.
Don't Just see my smile...but see my tears of pain in my smile.
Don't just critic me when i make a mistake...but help me to amend the mistake.
Don't just leave me alone to have a journey in this scary world...but be my company in the journey together.
Don't just use the excuse to ignore me...but used the excuse to care about me.
Don't just run out from me when i am asking help...but run to me without me asking the help
Don't just smile to me as a manner...but smile to me as an acknowledgement.
Don't just care about the person who you have not seen in unreal world...but please care the person who is in front of you right know.
dont just think about our circumstances....but think about others circumstances as well.
The past is history....The future is mystery....The present is where we belong...
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Friday, August 28, 2015
pain,scar,help,counselor
What a the function of counselor at school in Malaysia?
First of all, i apologize to all the malaysian counselor. I just want to rant something that stuck in my head for a quiet long time...may starting from form 3, or earlier than that.
It come back to me after i watched malay drama entitle wadi,slot zehra tv3. About the high school who was abuse by his stepmother. Where are the adult in that story?what are their function.
The nature of kid and teenager is needed guide and care from the adult even though they can survive. The must have faith with adult. But where are they when wadi run away from home and school? No one care.
It make me remember about my classmate who was bullied by the other student,beating hardly. Then after that i heard nothing from him. Just heard he was dismissed from school. And our life was carried out as usual. Ok. I admit i am regret as a classmate, i do nothing to protect him. But, i know nothing at that time. If we are talking or be a friend may be i do something. But he just classmate, a acquaintances. At least, may be i can do much, but i could give a tissue for him to cry or give medicine to treat his physical wound. But i don't do that. May be because of our culture. Girl and boy can be good friend without misunderstood. But, i am asking where are the teacher or guard,who should helping him..i don't think he guilty since many student came to my class, as like all boy student know there will be fight at school that day. Me...as usual insensitive to surrounding since i don't think there will be bullied at my school. I remember that day, the leader come to my class during break time, after half day school session.They leader take him (i name as A) to somewhere else. I know nothing but just had bad feeling. The boy in my class look like they know. They take him then i just know he was badly injured. After that day, he missing. Then the incident is in news,but nobody care enough to think about the kid future.
One more that i had episode with school counselor also during form 3. My class is known as a best class where the best student in our school is majority in that class. And i was one of them. This happen before PMR, may be after trial. Where the form to apply the boarding school (MRSM) was opened. I wondering what are the motive of counselor (cikgu DS) sell the form staring from third best class? When he come to my class,only 4 form leaf. Ok during that time i not confident enough like today,even though i think i should grab that opportunity. But i past to my classmate who had the better result than me. Starting that day, i am really hate that teacher, and had a prejudice with school counselor.
nowadays i am still see the school counselor in negative way. They not performed their role as counselor. They don't advise us about our choice, to further study, about university or etc. But they just blame,punished us if we make the mistake or rebel. And, i really hate that teacher, when he just asking me as part of manner of my spm result since that time he is office . I see his face and in my head i said" i could get the better result than this if he give me the form that day. And i am not the bad student after all. I am one of student foray be not the best, but who is past a flying colour and beat the record who get A in physic.beside him, the guard who keep my dictionary where i leave at bus stop asking the same question that day, i can feel sincerity in his action and talked.
That is why,until today, i don't like to hear a talk about motivation, go the class for motivation or something like that. Because, they just know how to talk. Talk. Everyone who read the book can talk. But do they used their knowledge to help other who had problem.
Recently i am really feel depressed. If i m going to see the counselor may be i was diagnosis hv a heavy depression since i urge to punish my body without eating.doesn't want to see people. And sometimes i am thinking about suicide. Never told anyone with seriously, but if i tell someone they just think i am joking. Not i am not. Now also i am still handle my emotion with the little strength and spirit to fight it. But, sometime i lost it. It s take time to recovered. Why i don't go to see the counselor...a few time i am think about that, but when the time we sicked badly, do u think we can go to see the doctor ourself. Nope right. We need help by somebody. I don't have that. And it about the trust. Can i trust that person to keep me safe and sound. Also i don't like to take a pill.
Until today i hate to heard about motivation talk at all. Even it come from dr fadzilah kamsah, one of excellent motivator in malaysia. They just know how to talk.
i used like to be school teacher. Still i am. But i am afraid i not good enough to protect and care about my student in their life and problem. If About their grade, i think it easy to handle since lot of technique can be applied. But about the scar emotion like me...how i want to handle that. To treat that scar is hard to find the medicine.
Oh remember one more scar, that time i am in standard six, i missed one day at school, unfortunately that day my homeroom teacher rearrange the seat of student. The next day, i came to school as usual. When i arrived to my class, i dont know where to seat. So i just make the thick face and seat at my own seat before the arrangement. Then my classmate just make a uncomfortable face. But doesn't felt guilty at all cause don't consider me. No apologize word was utter from their mouth including the teacher. It broke my heart. And after that day, i don't never considered my classmate is someone that i can trust and have faith at all. It also make me hard to blend with social with afraid of getting people rejection. I am careful and always think negatively about people. I just be friend who wanna be my friend. Never started it. Sometimes they just used me. I don't care at all. It just not me who make the used of being friend. And i like to be alone. That why there are episode where only me was attend the mass balance class during my second year as undergraduate. This is the worst case scenario as a self-sufficient person.it look like my world and other world is spin in different orbit. And recently this scar still bleed, make me hard to have a friend or lover. Because i am still not used to the pain of people rejection,and it become worst nowaday since i dont have a person to wipe my bleed scar.
First of all, i apologize to all the malaysian counselor. I just want to rant something that stuck in my head for a quiet long time...may starting from form 3, or earlier than that.
It come back to me after i watched malay drama entitle wadi,slot zehra tv3. About the high school who was abuse by his stepmother. Where are the adult in that story?what are their function.
The nature of kid and teenager is needed guide and care from the adult even though they can survive. The must have faith with adult. But where are they when wadi run away from home and school? No one care.
It make me remember about my classmate who was bullied by the other student,beating hardly. Then after that i heard nothing from him. Just heard he was dismissed from school. And our life was carried out as usual. Ok. I admit i am regret as a classmate, i do nothing to protect him. But, i know nothing at that time. If we are talking or be a friend may be i do something. But he just classmate, a acquaintances. At least, may be i can do much, but i could give a tissue for him to cry or give medicine to treat his physical wound. But i don't do that. May be because of our culture. Girl and boy can be good friend without misunderstood. But, i am asking where are the teacher or guard,who should helping him..i don't think he guilty since many student came to my class, as like all boy student know there will be fight at school that day. Me...as usual insensitive to surrounding since i don't think there will be bullied at my school. I remember that day, the leader come to my class during break time, after half day school session.They leader take him (i name as A) to somewhere else. I know nothing but just had bad feeling. The boy in my class look like they know. They take him then i just know he was badly injured. After that day, he missing. Then the incident is in news,but nobody care enough to think about the kid future.
One more that i had episode with school counselor also during form 3. My class is known as a best class where the best student in our school is majority in that class. And i was one of them. This happen before PMR, may be after trial. Where the form to apply the boarding school (MRSM) was opened. I wondering what are the motive of counselor (cikgu DS) sell the form staring from third best class? When he come to my class,only 4 form leaf. Ok during that time i not confident enough like today,even though i think i should grab that opportunity. But i past to my classmate who had the better result than me. Starting that day, i am really hate that teacher, and had a prejudice with school counselor.
nowadays i am still see the school counselor in negative way. They not performed their role as counselor. They don't advise us about our choice, to further study, about university or etc. But they just blame,punished us if we make the mistake or rebel. And, i really hate that teacher, when he just asking me as part of manner of my spm result since that time he is office . I see his face and in my head i said" i could get the better result than this if he give me the form that day. And i am not the bad student after all. I am one of student foray be not the best, but who is past a flying colour and beat the record who get A in physic.beside him, the guard who keep my dictionary where i leave at bus stop asking the same question that day, i can feel sincerity in his action and talked.
That is why,until today, i don't like to hear a talk about motivation, go the class for motivation or something like that. Because, they just know how to talk. Talk. Everyone who read the book can talk. But do they used their knowledge to help other who had problem.
Recently i am really feel depressed. If i m going to see the counselor may be i was diagnosis hv a heavy depression since i urge to punish my body without eating.doesn't want to see people. And sometimes i am thinking about suicide. Never told anyone with seriously, but if i tell someone they just think i am joking. Not i am not. Now also i am still handle my emotion with the little strength and spirit to fight it. But, sometime i lost it. It s take time to recovered. Why i don't go to see the counselor...a few time i am think about that, but when the time we sicked badly, do u think we can go to see the doctor ourself. Nope right. We need help by somebody. I don't have that. And it about the trust. Can i trust that person to keep me safe and sound. Also i don't like to take a pill.
Until today i hate to heard about motivation talk at all. Even it come from dr fadzilah kamsah, one of excellent motivator in malaysia. They just know how to talk.
i used like to be school teacher. Still i am. But i am afraid i not good enough to protect and care about my student in their life and problem. If About their grade, i think it easy to handle since lot of technique can be applied. But about the scar emotion like me...how i want to handle that. To treat that scar is hard to find the medicine.
Oh remember one more scar, that time i am in standard six, i missed one day at school, unfortunately that day my homeroom teacher rearrange the seat of student. The next day, i came to school as usual. When i arrived to my class, i dont know where to seat. So i just make the thick face and seat at my own seat before the arrangement. Then my classmate just make a uncomfortable face. But doesn't felt guilty at all cause don't consider me. No apologize word was utter from their mouth including the teacher. It broke my heart. And after that day, i don't never considered my classmate is someone that i can trust and have faith at all. It also make me hard to blend with social with afraid of getting people rejection. I am careful and always think negatively about people. I just be friend who wanna be my friend. Never started it. Sometimes they just used me. I don't care at all. It just not me who make the used of being friend. And i like to be alone. That why there are episode where only me was attend the mass balance class during my second year as undergraduate. This is the worst case scenario as a self-sufficient person.it look like my world and other world is spin in different orbit. And recently this scar still bleed, make me hard to have a friend or lover. Because i am still not used to the pain of people rejection,and it become worst nowaday since i dont have a person to wipe my bleed scar.
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