I need to say something

I need to say something...to somebody...anybody...it ruined my mood a whole day...my feeling...Since this morning, after i read a novel entitle "kekasih waktu" by Noor Suraya. When En Imran admitted he falled in love with someone else beside his wife. i just can't accept it. i don't know if i am in Dr Farhannah shoes, i will cried very hard. Betrayer. I know the feel of falling in love is  wonderful, we can't resists it, the feeling that is hard to feel, That feeling is very temptation. can't avoid it. make we were crazy about it and can't think with rational. without knowing the age. but please to ruin the happiness.

Noor Suraya is really know how to make her reader emotional after read her novel with beautiful word and sentence. it give a colourful feeling, When i read her novel. it give not only give pain and hope, but it can make you laugh and beautiful feeling...ahh..i don't know what word is suitable to represent the feeling.  It just wonderful. it make you happy and sad at first, then emotional at the middle and last it give you hope after you cried all night, sympathy with the main character. It just Redha feeling at the end.    

i still collect my courage to finished it. i know it hard since En Imran is betrayer and our hero, Zaynn will die. So it very sad novel that i read after her "Nyanyian Tanjung Sepi".

i just can hope there are miracle in love. that i am really afraid of it. please don't make me afraid to fall in love again and again like Dr Farhannah.

i am really afraid to fall in love. REALLY. NOT KIDDING even 0.0001%. and i wonder, do i have to be single forever? LONELY is better than betrayer....right? ahhh...i really don't know.

i am trapped

I am trapped
In comfortable zone
Without i am realize
It is dangerous

I am trapped
In my own emotion
Which might destruct me
Bring me down

I am trapped
In other people hope
In other people expectation
In other people eyes
Without knowing how to escape

I am
I am who i am
A girl who afraid to admit her own feeling
A girl who afraid to run from her fate
A girl who afraid to be a women.
After all, i am who i am.
i am trapped in my own world.

i miss the train

I miss the train
Long long time ago
I tried to catch up
But, it gone
I feel disappointed and anxiety

I took another train
It don't brought me to my destination
But, it shorten my journey
I have to take another train
However, i miss another train again
Then again i feel hopeless

Stucked at unknown place
Meet unknown people
Surrounding was darked
I am frightened and alone
But, i am still lucky
There are people who kind enough to make feel safe.
That short destination make me feel relieved, somehow.

I have recharge
Ready to restart my journey
I took another train
It was harsh and hard
But it brought me to my final destination
Safe and sound
I am happy and relieved.